“Last week they gave us a verbal commitment – now everything’s on hold.”
“She says she needs to check with the committee before moving forward.”
“He’s nervous about what’s happening in the markets.”
Sound familiar? In times of economic uncertainty, buyers often freeze. Deals stall, committees form, and decision-making slows to a crawl. But the reason isn’t just about budgets or risk—it’s about psychology.
To thrive in chaotic times, sellers must understand what’s really happening inside the buyer’s mind.
Psychiatrist Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis (TA) explains that within each of us are three ego states:
The Parent – carries the rules, warnings, and lessons from authority figures.
“Don’t waste resources.”
“Don’t make mistakes.”
The Adult – rational and analytical, focused on logic, data, and risk.
“Let’s run the numbers again.”
“We need more information.”
The Child – the emotional driver of desire, fear, and curiosity.
“I want this—it will make life easier.”
“I’m afraid of choosing wrong.”
David Sandler built much of the Sandler Selling System on this insight: all three voices influence decisions, but the Child makes the final call.
During downturns, the Parent and Adult dominate:
The Parent warns: “Don’t spend. Play it safe.”
The Adult demands endless data, leading to analysis paralysis.
The Child—the only voice that can say “yes”—often gets buried under fear and caution.
That’s why buyers cling to what they know, delay decisions, and hide behind committees.
David Sandler taught that people buy emotionally (Child) and justify with logic (Parent and Adult). In chaotic times, the only way to reach the Child is through Pain—the recognition of real, specific problems that create discomfort and urgency.
Examples of pain that resonate in uncertain markets:
Rising costs draining budgets.
Stalled growth or missed opportunities.
Stress from inefficiency or outdated tools.
The more tangible the pain, the more likely the Child speaks up:
“We can’t keep operating this way.”
“This problem is making my job harder than it should be.”
“If you can’t wake up the Child, no amount of logic or authority will move the deal forward.”
Once the Child feels the problem, the Parent and Adult need reassurance. Here’s how sellers can address each state in the Sandler framework:
Child (Emotion & Desire):
Ask discovery questions that surface emotional impact.
Keep the focus on what happens if the pain isn’t solved.
Adult (Logic & Data):
Provide ROI, timelines, and clear criteria for success.
Reduce uncertainty with concrete benchmarks.
Parent (Authority & Rules):
Show alignment with company values, safety, and precedent.
Reinforce that the decision is responsible, not risky.
Economic uncertainty often creates group decision-making. Everyone wants cover, which can stall progress. To break through:
Keep the Child invested by reminding the team of the pain that persists if nothing changes.
Appeal to the Adult with decision maps, timelines, and risk assessments.
Satisfy the Parent by showing precedent and protecting reputations.
Sales isn’t about persuasion—it’s about guiding the internal tug-of-war happening inside every buyer.
The Child must want.
The Parent must approve.
The Adult must confirm it’s safe and logical.
When you address all three, you don’t just close deals—you become a trusted advisor who helps prospects move forward even in uncertain times.
Is your sales team equipped to navigate today’s chaotic markets? At Sandler, we train sellers to recognize and engage all three buyer voices. Contact us today to learn how to thrive when others stall.